Horrorfest 2022 Presents: Blades (1989, Thomas R. Rondinella)

Created as fairly obvious Jaws parody, Blades actually manages to be a goofy, fun, killer lawnmower horror comedy. It’s not really scary, there are some decent moments of gore, and oddly it’s a solid golf movie too. The leads are likable, the golf course owner a scumbag desperately ignoring deaths to make money, and the groundskeepers and caddys definitely underpaid. There’s even an old weird former groundskeeper/mechanic for the Quint role.

Does a person get run over and you witness their legs being chopped up? Absolutely. Is the audience shown a kid dying horribly just like in Jaws? Yep! Can one accuse this movie of being in bad taste while still admiring it’s willingness to show golf scenes? Sure! This is the type of oddball movie that only could have been made in the 1980s. Viewed thanks to Peacock but Blades is also on Tubi.

Horrorfest 2022 Presents: Blood Hook (1986, Jim Mallon)

Blood Hook tries to be a funny 1980s slasher movie, but it just reminds me of a bad joke I’ve heard told by different people over the years. It wasn’t funny the first time, and it won’t be funny years from now. I’ll give the movie some points for a few good kills, an amusing enough fisherman fight and for trying something new. That’s about it, though, cause the rest of this movie stinks.

It stinks worse than fish guts, really, and this is the first Troma movie that I didn’t like or care for at all. Too bad, and I think they should remake this one. Up the gore, lean into how people take fishing way too seriously, find some better actors and maybe offer a sly commentary on resort towns. It could work, maybe. Then again, maybe not.

Horrorfest 2021 Presents: Def By Temptation (1990, James Bond III)

Despite being a low budget 1990s horror film, Def By Temptation was very well made and maybe even great at times. I liked this one a lot, and I think it would pair very well with something like Candyman or perhaps something late 1980s such as The Serpent and the Rainbow. The only thing is the film’s villain reminded me of a vampire than a succubus, although perhaps my knowledge of them is based off the fun show Lost Girl.

Joel, haunted by his dead father (Samuel L. Jackson in a cameo role) decides to visit his old friend K (Kadeem Hardison). Normally having the director play the main role might result in a mixed bag performance, yet James Bond III is actually great as Joel. He seems sympathetic and determined to succeed as a minister, to grow as a person. Too bad he runs into Cynthia Bond’s unamed demon.

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The demonic kill scenes are both freaky and quite bloody, and Cynthia Bond is terrifying and captivating as the main villain. Any movie that has Bill Nunn is usually worth seeing, and I enjoyed his character and K teaming up to take down the succubus. My favorite part had to be the bar scene where the woman gets a holy water bloody Mary. Boy did that cause literal sparks to fly!

While the final act seems to feel a tad rushed, this movie works as a waking nightmare, literally in the scene where Joel runs through the streets in terror. I do want to see this movie again, and I think one could easily write more about it and how it fits into modern horror cinema’s take on black culture. Even if the title is a bit goofy, which I still don’t mind because it works.