Horrorfest 2020 Presents: Creature (1985, William Malone)


So it turns out that the woman who voices Francine in America Dad, Wendy Schaal, is in this movie. I laughed when she asked the captain if they were having fun yet. Hey that’s my line, just kidding I stole it from a Nickelback song. Ugh. Creature is a dumb Alien rip off that I didn’t hate, yet I can’t fully embrace or recommend beyond wanting to see another gory killer alien movie. Well killer alien mixed in with zombies, I guess.

I’ve seen better Alien knockoffs, and I’ve seen worse Alien knockoffs. This one falls in the middle, and reminds folks that even when Klaus Kinski is not evil, you still shouldn’t trust him anyways. Oh and this film has the annoying cliche of a key character vanishing, if only because said character would have cut the movie short. This was a dumb movie with limited charm and the more I think about it, the less I like it. I doubt I’ll recall having seen it in oh, two months.

2019 Movie Log


It’s that time again already. Should I go for 200 movies this year and give up all my sanity and free time? Eh I think 100+ is enough.

January:

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1. Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (2018, Ramsey, Persichetti Jr., Rothman)-99, Theater Viewing
2. The Day After Tomorrow (2004, Emmerich)-35, AMC
3. Deep Impact (1998, Leder)-40, AMC
4. Under the Skin (2013, Glazer)-92, Netflix Instant Viewing
5. Crazy Rich Asians (2018, Chu)-93, RedBox
6. Night of the Living Deb (2015, Rankin)-81, Shudder
7. The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972, Pierce)-70, Shudder
8. Vice (2018, McKay)-96, Theater Viewing)
9. The Town (2010, Affleck)-91, AMC
10. Paddington (2015, King)-93, TubiTV
11. Samurai Cop (1991, Shervan)-90, TubiTV
12. Island of the Fishermen (1979, Martino)-65, Shout! TV
13. Mad Ron’s Prevues from Hell (1987, Monaco)-80, Netflix Instant Viewing
14. Enemy (2014, Villeneuve)-95, Netflix Instant Viewing
15. Up the Creek (1984, Butler)-64, Charge TV
16. Night of the Living Dead (1990, Savini)-84, DVD

February:

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17. Once Upon a Crime (1992, Levy)-71, This TV
18. Happy Death Day (2017, Landon)-88, RedBox
19. The Favourite (2018, Lanthimos)-96, Theater Viewing
20. Hereditary (2018, Aster)-96, RedBox
21. BlacKkKlansman (2018, Lee)-100, RedBox
22. Bird Box (2018, Bier)-80, Netflix Instant Viewing
23. You Were Never Really Here (2017, Ramsay)-93, RedBox
24. Happy Death Day 2U (2019, Landon)-84, Theater Viewing
25. The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019, Mitchell)-91, Theater Viewing

March:

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26. Brain Damage (1988, Henenlotter)-90, Shudder
27. Captain Marvel (2019, Fleck, Boden)-86, Theater Viewing
28. Deadbeat At Dawn (1988, Van Bebber)-82, Shudder
29. The Old Man & the Gun (2018, Lowery)-93, RedBox
30. Us (2019, Peele)-100, Theater Viewing
31. Hunt For The Wilderpeople (2016, Waititi)-96, Hulu
32. The Highwaymen (2019, Hancock)-73, Netflix Instant Viewing
33. Annihilation (2018, Garland)-91, Hulu
34. The Meteor Man (1993, Townsend)-70, Comet! TV

April:

35. Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror (2019, Burgin)-95, Shudder
36. Deathgasm (2015, Howden)-81, Shudder
37. Pet Sematary (2019, Kolsch, Widmyer)-86, Theater Viewing
38. Meet the Feebles (1989, Jackson)-80, Tubi TV
39. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001, Smith)-85, Netflix Instant Viewing
40. My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009, Lussier)-30, Netflix Instant Viewing
41. Hardcore Henry (2016, Naishuller)-85, Netflix Instant Viewing
42. Cecil B. DeMented (2000, Waters)-90, Tubi TV

May:

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43. Avengers: Endgame (2019, Russo Brothers)-90, Theater Viewing
44. Urufu gai: Moero ôkami-otoko (1975, Yamaguchi)-89, Shudder
45. Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019, Letterman)-91, Theater Viewing
46. Destroy All Monsters (1968, Honda)-86, Tubi TV
47. John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum (2019, Stahelski,)-92, Theater Viewing
48. Demon Wind (1990, Moore)-50, Shudder
49. Her (2013, Jonze), Netflix Instant Viewing

June:

50. Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019, Dougherty)-90, Theater Viewing
51. Star Raiders: The Adventures of Saber Raine (2016, Grove)-20, Theater Viewing/RiffTrax
52. Rocketman (2019, Fletcher)-92, Theater Viewing
53. Miami Vice (2006, Mann)-90, Netflix Instant Viewing
54. Zodiac (2007, Fincher)-95, Netflix Instant Viewing
55. The Day the Earth Froze (1959. Ptushko)-35, Netflix Instant Viewing
56. Men In Black: International (2019, Gray)-68, Theater Viewing
57. Aladdin (2019, Ritchie)-81, Theater Viewing

July:

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58. Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019, Watts)-93, Theater Viewing
59. Child’s Play (2019, Klevberg)-87, Theater Viewing
60. Kill The Irishman (2011, Hensleigh)-80, Netflix Instant Viewing
61. Nightmare at Shadow Woods (1987, Grissmer)-35, Shudder
62. Brooklyn’s Finest (2010, Fuqua)-60, Netflix Instant Viewing
63. Midsommar (2019, Aster)-96, Theater Viewing
64. Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019, Tarentino)-97, Theater Viewing

August:

65. Hellfighters (1968, McLaglen)-65, Blu ray
66. The Babysitter (2017, McG)-86, Netflix Instant Viewing
67. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009, Gilliam)-70, Netflix Instant Viewing
68. The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018, Fogel)-75, Hulu

September:

69. Ready Or Not (2019, Bettinelli-Olpin, Gillett)-90, Theater Viewing
70. The Saint (1997, Noyce)-73, Netflix Instant Viewing
71. It Chapter 2 (2019, Muschietti)-90, Theater Viewing
72. Summer of ’84 (2018, Simard, Whissell, Whissell)-82, Shudder
73. The Last Black Man In San Francisco (2019, Talbot)-95, RedBox
74. The Ranger (2018, Wexler)-90, Shudder
75. Get Carter (1971, Hodges)-93, Netflix Instant Viewing

October:

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76. Viy (Kropachyov, Yershov)-77, Shudder
77. Under The Shadow (2016, Anvari)-92, Netflix Instant Viewing
78. Twins of Evil (1972, Hough)-81, Shudder
79. Vampire Circus (1972, Young)-78, Shudder
80. Final Exam (1981, Huston)-65, Tubi TV
81. The Love Witch (2016, Biller)-86, Shudder
82. The City of the Dead (1960, Moxey)-84, Tubi TV
83. Charlie’s Angels (2000, McG)-83, Netflix Instant Viewing
84. The Corpse Grinders (1972, Mikels)-40, Tubi TV
85. Cannibal Girls (1973, Reitman)-71, Tubi TV
86. Hell Night (1981, DeSimone)-65, Shudder
87. The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1985, Craven)-20, Shudder
88. Hands of the Ripper (1971, Sasdy)-81, Shudder
89. The Mutilator aka Fall Break (1985, Cooper)-75, Shudder
90. Stage Fright (1987, Soavi)-83, Shudder
91. Thirst (1979, Hardy)-85, Shudder
92. De Lift (1983, Maas)-65, Shudder
93. I Drink Your Blood (1970, Durston)-87, Shudder
94. Kamera o tomeru na! aka One Cut of the Dead (2017, Ueda)-91, Shudder
95. All the Colors of the Dark (1972, Martino)-83, Shudder
96. Demons 2 (1986, Bava)-75, Shudder
97. Der Nachtmahr (2015, Akiz)-55, Shudder
98. You Might Be The Killer (2018, Simmons)-73, Shudder
99. Day of the Animals (1977, Girdler)-60, Shudder
100. The Awakening (2011, Murphy)-75, Shudder
101. Bloody Pit of Horror (1965, Pupillo)-82, Tubi TV
102. Sweet, Sweet Lonely Girl (2016, Calvo)-83, Shudder
103. Mayhem (2017, Lynch)-86, Shudder
104. Zombieland: Double Tap (2019, Fleischer)-85, Theater
105. Jack Frost (1996, Cooney)-65, Shudder
106. Dark Water (2002, Nakata)-88, Shudder
107. Happy Birthday To Me (1981, Thompson)-74, Blu ray

November:

108. The Lighthouse (2019, Eggers)-92, Theater
109. Cleopatra Jones (1973, Starrett)-87, Tubi TV
110. Bride of Re-Animator (1989, Yuzna)-81, Shudder
111. Dolemite (1975, Martin)-76, Tubi TV
112. Joker (2019, Phillips)-93, Theater Viewing
113. King of New York (1990, Ferrara)-95, Pluto TV
114. Midway (2019, Emmerich)-73, Theater Viewing

December:

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115. The Hurricane Heist (2018, Cohen)-80, Netflix Instant Viewing
116. Rebel Without a Cause (1955, Ray)-95, Netflix Instant Viewing
117. Who’s That Knocking at My Door (1967, Scorsese)-84, Netflix Instant Viewing
118. Street Trash (1987, Muro)-53, Shudder
119. Hobgoblins (1988, Sloane)-0/94 MST3K episode rating, Netflix Instant Viewing
120. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003, McG)-40, Netflix Instant Viewing
121. Cop Car (2015, Watts)-88, Netflix Instant Viewing
122. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987, Harry)-70, Shudder
123. From Paris with Love (2010, Morel)-75, Netflix Instant Viewing
124. The Grinch (2018, Mosier, Cheney)-81, Netflix Instant Viewing
125. 3615 code Pere Noel (1989, Manzor)-83, Shudder
126. The Street Fighter (1974, Ozawa)-85, Tubi TV
127. Matinee (1993, Dante)-90, Blu Ray
128. Jumanji: The Next Level (2019, Kasdan)-85, Theater Viewing
129. She’s Gotta Have It (1986, Lee)-90, Netflix Instant Viewing
130. Some Like It Hot (1959, Wilder)-99, Blu Ray

Horrorfest 2015 Presents: Critteriffic


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Sure this was supposed to be part of my viewing from last year. Doesn’t matter because I do what I want anyways. Critters 3 and 4 came as a double bill part of a four pack that I found at my local library. Neither are particularly good, yet I actually dug one a little bit. I like to finish franchises anyways, for better or for worse. The series isn’t Oscar worthy but it is fun to watch. For some reason the 80s and 90s had a lot of franchise horror, although that seemed to be the norm for Hollywood, period.

Critters 3 is not a good movie. It’s easy the worst of the series and is mostly notable for featuring a young Leonardo DiCaprio in one of the main roles. As the son of a douche bag who wants to drive off his tenants so he can build a shopping mall or something. After having the Critters take over a farmhouse and a small town an apartment building is a huge step down. Imagine if this had been a big budget film where the Crites invade a whole city. Too bad that never happened.

Still this film does have its moments and the cast isn’t bad for a poor showing. They make this crappy movie watchable and I did like some of the kills. Also for some reason (SPOILER) The film ends on a cliffhanger. I like that Terrence Mann and Don Keth Opper appear in all of the series. That’s welcomed consistency.

Now oddly enough Critters 4 was a step up and works okay as an ending to the series. Well at least it was supposed to be, since nothing ever seems to end in Hollywood. Opper and Mann return along with new additions Brad Dourif and Angela Bassett as members of a crew that finds Charlie in space. I overlooked the obvious Alien/Aliens ripoff moments and sat back and enjoyed the fact that for the first time ever the Crites were actually in space. And that this movie has a few surprises, including one I did not see coming.

Even though like the rest of the series the low budget feel is quite apparent, I still enjoyed the fourth movie. The first two entries in the series are the best, however I still recommend even seeing the last two, just to see how things shake out. Also I am a fan of even bad sci-fi, especially since we don’t get too much of the actual stuff these days. Comic book movies don’t count.

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Horrorfest 2013 Presents: Forbidden World (1982, Allen Holzman)


Space is a dangerous and scary place. Full of wonders and dangers lurking around every asteroid and moon. At least that’s the case in Forbidden World which is an Alien ripoff that I actually enjoyed. Even with the low-budget special effects and the hilariously bad opening space battle. We can thank the legendary Roger Corman for producing this entertaining piece of sci-fi horror schlock.

I can’t even recall the space fodder….I mean, characters…names. They aren’t terribly important and neither is the plot which involves genetics and some ugly monstrous creature. This film has it all: tons of nudity gore and horrific death scenes. Not to mention amusingly cheesy moments and a cool android. That’s always a plus. Don’t forget that random shower scene either. The creature itself has great big shiny teeth and appears to be a cross between a spider and god knows what else.

A film like this could only exist in the past when cheesy low-budget films were easy to make. Today this film would fail to straddle the fine line between entertaining goofy camp and outright dumb parody. Someone like Roger Corman was always able to walk that line as a director and as a producer.

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