Horrorfest 2021 Presents: Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th (2013, Daniel Farrands)


Much in the same vein as the other great documentary Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy (2010) which Daniel Farrands also made, Crystal Lake Memories is a quality horror documentary that is a comprehensive history of a well known franchise. Even it’s detractors have to admit that The Friday The 13th series has, for better or for worse, left a sizable impact on the horror movie genre. I’m a die hard of the series and thus I greatly enjoyed the whole thing.

A fair warning though: much like the A Nightmare On Elm Street documentary this one is pretty long. 6 hours and 40 minutes to be exact, last I checked. So I spent two days watching the whole thing, and it was cool to see so many different cast members and crew show up. Sadly a number of them have passed away over the years and several in this documentary either died during or after it was completed.

Not to mention the behind scenes material is fun to witness and hear from those involved. I’m eagerly waiting to see if they make another Friday the 13th, still for now my collection of the first eight movies and this horror doc will have to do. Also it’s narrated by Corey Feldman, the awesome Kane Hodder shows up as well, and every famous final girl from the series makes an appearance, which is pretty radical to me. Their idea of having the survivors come back to fight Jason sounds great to me. Ah, one can dream.

Horrorfest 2016: A New Beginning


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Hey buddy

Okay so at this point I’m just ripping off titles from the Friday the 13th series. Besides any good horror fan knows never to trust a franchise that promises the next installment is the “Last one, the final chapter, the main bad guy is finally dead!, etc.” I also am using this title because this year I’ve decided not to make any pre-viewing list this time. Instead I am just listing all of the movies I actually bother to watch from August to October, plus the few movies I usually grab to kick things off with. Reviews will still be posted, although they may be even more half-assed than normal. To the few readers of this blog I have a 40 hour a week job and thus don’t have the time I used to have to watch a million things. Plus I blame peak TV widely available online for a decrease in movie viewing. Enjoy regardless, and I hope to try and see more horror that I haven’t yet fully explored.

Alright so this concludes Horrorfest 2016. I have finally six months later reviewed every movie I viewed during a three month period. Here is my Top 10 List just because I only saw 40 movies:

  1. We Are Still Here (2015, Geoghegan)-95
  2. Spoorloos (1988, Sluizer)-95
  3. Session 9 (2001, Anderson)-95
  4. Dale & Tucker Vs Evil (2010, Craig)-95
  5. The Fury (1978, De Palma)-94
  6. Insidious (2010, Wan)-93, Family Video
  7. Jacob’s Ladder (1990, Lyne)-93
  8. Hush (2016, Flanagan)-92
  9. The Others (2001, Amenábar)-91
  10. They Look Like People (2015, Blackshear)-90

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WAZZZZZZZZUUUUUPPP!

1. Splatter (2009, Slasher)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/08/05/horrorfest-2016-presents-splatter-2009-joe-dante/
2. Crimson Peak (2015, Ghosts)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/08/10/horrorfest-2016-presents-crimson-peak-2015-guillermo-del-toro/
3. Coma (1978, Medical)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/08/15/horrorfest-2016-presents-coma-1978-michael-crichton/
4. The Old Dark House (1932, Crazy People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/08/15/horrorfest-2016-presents-the-old-dark-house-1932-james-whale/
5. Murder Party (2007, Slasher)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/08/28/horrorfest-2016-presents-murder-party-2007-jeremy-saulnier/
6. Jacob’s Ladder (1990, Crazy People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/08/28/horrorfest-presents-jacobs-ladder-1990-adrian-lyne/
7. Hostel (2005, Slasher)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/08/29/horrorfest-2016-presents-hostel-2005-eli-roth/
8. Insidious (2010, Ghosts)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/09/10/horrorfest-2016-presents-insidious-2010-james-wan/
9. Session 9 (2001, Crazy People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/09/18/horrorfest-2016-presents-session-9-2001-brad-anderson/
10. The Cars That Ate Paris (1974, Crazy People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/09/28/horrorfest-2016-presents-the-cars-that-ate-paris-1974-peter-weir/

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He just wants to be your friend…

11. Byzantium (2013, Vampires)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/horrorfest-2016-presents-byzantium-2013-neil-jordan/
12. Castle Freak (1995, Creature Feature)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/horrorfest-2016-presents-castle-freak-1995-stuart-gordon/
13. Darling (2015, Crazy People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/06/darling-2015-mickey-keating/
14. The Others (2001, Ghosts)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/09/horrorfest-2016-presents-the-others-2001-alejandro-amenabar/
15. Goosebumps (2015, Monsters)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/16/horrorfest-2016-presents-goosebumps-2015-rob-letterman/
16. Curse of Chucky (2013. Slasher)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/18/horrorfest-2016-presents-curse-of-chucky-2013-don-mancini/
17. Holidays (2016, Anthology)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/19/horrorfest-2016-presents-holidays-2016-kevin-smith-gary-shore-matt-johnson-scott-stewart-nicholas-mccarthy-dennis-widmyer-kevin-kolsch-sarah-adina-smith-anthony-scott-burns/
18. The Hole (2009, Creature Feature)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/20/horrorfest-2016-presents-the-hole-2009-joe-dante/
19. Demons (1985, Demons)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/20/horrorfest-2016-presents-demons-1985-lamberto-bava
20. Hush (2016, Slasher)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/24/horrorfest-2016-presents-hush-2016-mike-flanagan/

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It’s a rock band yeah!

21. They Look Like People (2015, Creature Feature)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/26/horrorfest-2016-presents-they-look-like-people-2015-perry-blackshear/
22. The Sacrament (2015, Crazy People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/27/7750/
23. We Are Still Here (2015, Ghosts)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/30/horrorfest-2016-presents-we-are-still-here-2015-ted-geoghegan/
24. The Hallow (2015, Creature Feature)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/31/horrorfest-2016-presents-the-hallow-2015-corin-hardy/
25. Road Games (2015, Crazy People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/10/31/horrorfest-2016-presents-road-games-2015-abner-pastoll/
26. The Invitation (2015, Crazy People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/the-invitation-2015-karyn-kusama/
27. They’re Watching (2016, Witches)-https://wordpress.com/posts/drafts/madman731.wordpress.com
28. The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (1962, Mad Scientist)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2016/11/21/horrorfest-2016-presents-the-brain-that-wouldnt-die-1962-joseph-green/
29. Tucker & Dale Vs Evil (2010, Slasher)-http://wp.me/pRBID-22W
30. Puppet Master (1989, Slasher)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/02/16/2016-horrorfest-presents-puppet-master-1989-david-schmoeller/

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Yeah? Who you calling psycho?

31. Genocide (1967, Creature Feature)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/03/08/horrorfest-2016-presents-genocide-1967-kazui-nihonmats/
32. The Fury (1978, Psychic People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/03/08/horrorfest-2016-presents-the-fury-1978-brian-de-palma/
33. The Traveler (2010, Slasher)- https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/04/15/horrorfest-2016-presents-the-traveler-2010-michael-oblowitz/
34. The House On Sorority Row (1983, Slasher)- https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/05/11/horrorfest-2016-presents-the-house-on-sorority-row-1983-mark-rosman/
35. Bad Milo (2015, Creature Feature)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/05/11/horrorfest-2016-presents-bad-milo-2015-jacob-vaughan/
36. Stung (2015, Creature Feature)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/?p=8218
37. Wyrmwood (2014, Zombies)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/06/05/horrorfest-2016-presents-wyrmwood-2014-kiah-roache-turner/
38. Grizzly (1976, Creature Feature)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/06/05/horrorfest-2016-presents-grizzly-1976-william-girdler/?preview_id=8270&preview_nonce=6713d40f1d
39. Spoorloos (1988, Crazy People)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/06/19/horrorfest-2016-presents-spoorloos-1988-george-sluizer/
40. Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015, Zombies)-https://madman731.wordpress.com/2017/06/19/horrorfest-2016-presents-scouts-guide-to-the-zombie-apocalypse-2015-christopher-b-landon/?preview_id=8331&preview_nonce=5cfb8ce467

Happy Friday The 13th (Spo Spo Spoilers)


Great day. I consider it a holiday over fake ones such as Flag Day and Columbus Day. Anyways I realized that some of the Friday The 13th series entries could have been better. Or improved upon. Let’s start with Part III. Tons of spoilers btw so don’t read if you haven’t watched them all. Also the first film and Part II are fine as is, and I don’t really care about the remake. FVJ sort of counts but doesn’t and is awesome regardless.

Ah Part III. When the series really felt very 80s and had awful 3D. I got a headache from those cheap glasses that came with my copy. Oh and this should have been the film where Jason kills the Final Girl, named Chris. Calling her a Final Girl is an insult to the other, better Final Girls. There actually was an ending where Jason kills her so I’m not the only one who thinks this. However there are other aspects I would change.

Getting rid of the biker gang for one. They were terrible characters and could be written out. The opening had Jason killing people who lived near the lake. What if he had kept on doing that for a while before entering Camp Crystal Lake again? Regardless the film didn’t need extra random people to be victims. The main group had more than enough potential victims.

I would have loved it if Jason, unmasked after getting hit by the ax, chases down scared Chris and snaps her neck. The police, who arrived upon the scene, shoot him three times. End of film. Imagine if The Final Chapter could have opened with the same scene, only Jason is still alive so they take him to a hospital all chained up. Naturally he escapes and kills everyone there. Maybe that would have been too violent to pass MPAA censorship muster.

The Final Chapter is fine the way it is for the most part. Yet while I like and enjoy A New Beginning, having Roy be the murderer never made a lot of sense. No but having Tommy Jarvis be the new Jason would have been amazing. Even if that’s not the route that the film’s creators were willing to go down at the very least they could have gone with another mental patient. Anything but having such a crazy plot. Still they were able to keep the gore intact in this film. Not like….

…The New Blood. I wouldn’t change a thing about Jason Lives although Zombie Jason is a tad outrageous heh. Part Seven was butchered by the MPAA and thus us fans were denied what could have been an epic display of violence. If only the infamous sleeping bag kill could have properly happened. Also I wanted more Tina vs Jason. For a movie that featured a telekinotic teenager there wasn’t enough cool mind moving scenes. Otherwise I’m fine with this film since its the last time Jason was at Camp Crystal Lake.

Naturally everyone wants Jason Takes Manhattan to be remade. Can you imagine Jason killing people in Yankee stadium? Or tearing through Times Square instead of simply waking by it once? Someone needs to make this happen. I want Jason to battle people on The Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. Alas all us fans got was Jason Hangs Out In Manhattan For Five Minutes after a booze cruise. Boooo. This is where low budget filmmaking leaves you a little stranded.

Btw Jason X was so awful I pretend it never happened. Such a bad joke. Yet Jason Goes To Hell could have been salvaged. Keep the family storyline, dump the body swaping, have Duke and the FBI after Jason and still see him go to Hell at the end. I would have laughed had the woman at the beginning been killed right away by Jason instead of leading him into the trap. You would think Jason would be a little more clever. Also I liked the sleezy reporter in this film too, as that angle revealed that in fact Jason’s murders had actually received publicity finally.

I have ideas for two Jason films. One that I’ve had for years, the other I cooked up three years ago and which would be controversial in some ways. I’ll never tell though because I’m sure someone else already thought them up or someone might steal them. Happy Friday The 13th folks.

Friday the 13th Is Just A Day….Right?


On this day, Friday the 13th, we pause to remember the fallen-those who lost their lives at the hands of one individual: Jason Voorhees. The masked murder has been responsible for countless deaths since 1980, and is still rumored to be out in force today. We, the people, those who are lucky or smart enough to have avoided Camp Crystal Lake, need to observe a moment of silence for the fallen. Those poor souls who at times literally slit their own throats, made it easy for Jason to kill them-especially the unlucky campers who should have been going out the door instead of running upstairs. Its not easy to reflect on those we have lost, and after 33 years some of the locals have become numb to the pain, the death and suffering, the carriage.

With this in mind, I actually do not have a complete list of the dead mainly since proper records have been lost, but really mostly because there have just been so many even I’ve lost track. They even say that Jason is still out there, rooming the woods, carving up new victims and stalking his prey ever so carefully. He might even be behind you right now. As for reports that I am following a one Jason L. Voorhees on Twitter, well, um….

…HEY LOOK HE’S THERE! OVER THERE! RUN!

*Jumps into car and drives away*

 

NEVER FORGET

 

Friday the 13th Warning

 

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