Horrorfest 2021 Presents: Hellmaster (1992, Douglas Shulze)


Poor John Saxon really needed a quick paycheck and this appeared in Hellmaster, a prime argument for those who dislike 1990s horror movies. I’ve often defended the decade, yet this flick is just awful in a hilariously inept way that must be viewed for one to believe. The characters in this flick not only fully embrace terrible decision making, they also have dialogue so bland even I couldn’t ignore it. I can envision someone finding Hellmaster at the local video store back then, renting it and wanting their money back soon afterwards.

This movie even has a halfway ok plot, yet the movie never fully realizes that potential. There are some good creepy moments, yet they are lost in the film’s inability to not swerve from scary to camp, often in the same scene. Pick a lane, movie. I already don’t recall the final woman, or why she takes the superman drug yet is perfectly fine while others mutate. There’s no logic in this movie, even by horror movie standards. I could see Netflix remaking Hellmaster and creating their own terrible mess in the process.

Killing Them Loudly: Horrorfest 2021


10 Horror Movie Memes To Get You in The Mood For Halloween

This concludes Horrorfest 2021 which featured me watching 66 movies, the most I’ve ever seen in a three month span. I’m not sure I will do that again but you never know. See you all next year for Horrorfest 2022! 

July Viewings:

1. Vamp (1986, Vampires!), Arrow Films Video
2. Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th (2013, Jason Doc!), Shudder
3. Vampyres (1975, Lesbian Vamps), Shudder
4. Patrick (1978, Mind Powers!), Shudder
5. Child’s Play 2 (1990, CHUCKY!), Netflix Instant Viewing
6. Prevenge (2016, Slasher?), Shudder
7. Night Tide (1961, Mermaid), Shudder
8. The Queen of Black Magic (1981, Revenge!), Shudder
9. Here Comes Hell (2019, Demonic), Shudder
10. Frankenhooker (1990, Mad Scientist), Shudder
11. Def By Temptation (1990, Succubus), Shudder

August Viewings:

(1) 12. Black Roses (1988, Rock n roll is evil! Evil!), Shudder
(2) 13. Death Ship (1980, Nazi Boat!), Shudder
(3) 14. Don’t Panic (1989, Demonic), Shudder
(4) 15. The Whistler (2019, Fairy Tales Are Real), Shudder
(5) 16. Tigers Are Not Afraid (2019, Ghosts), Shudder
(6) 17. Turkey Shoot (1982, Dystopia), Shudder
(7) 18. Dave Made a Maze (2017, Dangerous Cardboard!), Shudder
(8) 19. Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1981, Crazy Aunt), Shudder
(9) 20. White of the Eye (1988, Slasher), Shudder
(10) 21. Lisa and the Devil (1973, Telly Savalas is the Devil!), Shudder
(11) 22. Shock (1977, Ghost Possession), Shudder
(12) 23. Messiah of Evil (1973, Undead cult!), Shudder

September Viewings:

(1) 24. Vicious Fun (2020, Slasher Support Group), Shudder
(2) 25. Mortuary (1983, Embalmed), Shudder
(3) 26. Hellmaster (1992, JOHN SAXON), Shudder
(4) 27. The Dead Pit (1989, Like a Surgeon), Shudder
(5) 28. The Pale Door (2020, Witches and Cowboys), Shudder
(6) 29. Chillerama (2011, Anthology), Tubi
(7) 30. Mohawk (2017, Revenge!), Shudder
(8) 31. The Brain Eaters (1958, Parasites!), Tubi
(9) 32. Death Curse of Tartu (1966, Tartu), Tubi
(10) 33. Sting of Death (1966, Killer Jellyfish), Tubi
(11) 34. Blood Quantum (2020, Zombies), Shudder
(12) 35. I Bury the Living (1958, Cemetery business), Tubi
(13) 36. Candyman (2021, I’m not saying it), Theater Viewing
(14) 37. Head Count (2019, Mythical Creature Thing), Shudder
(15) 38. Found Footage 3D (2016, Meta), Shudder
(16) 39. Color Out of Space (2020, Aliens! Sort of), Shudder
(17) 40. Shakma (1990, Killer Ape), Shudder
(18) 41. Malignant (2021, GABRIEL), Theater Viewing

October Viewings:

(1) 42. The Church (1989, Man Is Evil), Tubi
(2) 43. Blood (1973, Monster Mash), Tubi
(3) 44. Cannibal Ferox (1981, Savage), Shudder
(4) 45. Sorority House Massacre (1986, Slasher Flashback), Shudder
(5) 46. Pledge Night (1990, Acid Sid), Shudder
(6) 47. WNUF Halloween Special (2013, NEWS AT 11), Shudder
(7) 48. Vampires vs. the Bronx (2020, Gentrification Sucks!), Netflix Instant Viewing
(8) 49. One Dark Night (1983, Raymar!), Tubi
(9) 50. Doom Asylum (1988, Power Tools), Tubi
(10) 51. Hannah, Queen of the Vampires aka Crypt of the Living Dead (1973, Undead Undead), Tubi
(11) 52. Death By Invitation (1971, She’ll have her revenge!), Tubi
(12) 53. Two Thousand Maniacs! (1964, The South Will Kill Again), Tubi
(13) 54. Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks (1974, The Monster!), Tubi
(14) 55. The Convent (2000, Satanic Nuns), Tubi
(15) 56. Demonia (1990, EVIL!), Tubi
(16) 57. Psycho Goreman (2020, ALIENS), Shudder
(17) 58. The Descent (2005, Underground Monsters), Tubi
(18) 59. Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000, Snowman In The Tropics), Tubi/Crackle
(19) 60. Habit (1997, Indie Vampires), Shudder
(20) 61. Halloween Kills (2021, EVIL DIES TONIGHT), Theater Viewing
(21) 62. Rituals (1977, Into the Woods), Shudder
(22) 63. Just Before Dawn (1981, Don’t Go In The Woods), Shudder
(23) 64. The House That Screamed (1969, Serrador), Shudder

Coda:

65. V/H/S/94 (2021, Tjahjanto, Barrett), Shudder

66. Last Night In Soho (2021, Wright), Movie Theater Viewing

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