Horrorfest 2022 Presents: Uncle Sam (1996, William Lustig)

William Lustig and Larry Cohen got together in the 1990s to give us all a slice of 1980s style cheese known as Uncle Sam. This movie has some cool kills, yet too many of them were hampered by the budget and more likely the MPAA. I loathe those censoring bastards. Anyways this movie probably should have been longer and more fleshed out, and Joe Bob Briggs does have a point that some elements are randomly left unexplained when they probably warranted some exposition.

However Darcy the Mail Girl is correct in that this is a fun horror flick, and plus it’s a rare one set around the Fourth of July. I’m a sucker for holiday related movies in general and honestly one of our most celebrated holidays should have more flicks based around it. Plus I’m down with a movie that gleefully takes aim at how much war is glorified by people in this country, and how Hollywood is partly to blame in that regard.

That smarts!

Christopher Ogden is quite good as young Jody, who slowly learns the awful truth about his Uncle Sam, who he worships at first. Isaac Hayes has a great monologue in this movie where he tells Jordy not to join the military, where as Timothy Bottoms and Robert Forster show up to be major character actor victims. P.J. Soles even makes an appearance although I barely recognized her. There is a scene where one man is killed by fireworks and then this leads to another man being impaled on the American flag in what is probably one of the most impressive displays of cheesy slasher movie violence I have ever witnessed.

Honestly you could probably remake this movie now, yet it wouldn’t be quite the same although perhaps the gore would be more present. Add in an even more pointed takedown of military propaganda and you would have yourself a great movie instead of a merely decent one. Still check out Uncle Sam for a slice of 1990s comedy violence that fits well with Small Soldiers for a nice double bill.

Cargo Shorts

Hell yeah!

People hate on cargo shorts for no reason. They’re comfy, have multiple pockets and can be worn as long as its warm out. People can wear them more than once a week until the smell becomes too obvious. Yes I own multiple pairs and I’ve stopped caring if they make me look like an old man.

Let me know when anything else can hold the stuff I need. Phone charger, ear buds, mask, wallet, beer coozy, and additional items usually fit in two large pockets on each side. I can’t afford a man purse and I’m not carrying a bag with me. Oh and cargo shorts are pretty comfy and I’ve always found them in my size. I can’t say that about any other type of pants.

Not to mention numerous clothing places offer cargo shorts, which means that either they’re at least popular. Yeah I’ll appeal to the common denominator here for my central argument, while admitting that come Fourth of July week I’ll probably be heading to Old Navy for some new pairs.

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