New series borrowed/stolen/whatever from um, someone else. Anyways this takes aim for the time being at college football teams. First up, Iowa State.
Congrats on never winning anything in your entire history until last season, and that came against an Oregon team that lucked their way backwards into a good BCS bowl. Yes those bowl games still matter until they eventually expand the College Football Playoff. Last season was as good as it’s ever going to get for the Cyclones. They beat Oklahoma once, then lost to them in the Big 12 title game when it actually mattered.
Sure they also got Texas’s coach fired, yet Texas chokes as hard as ISU does these days and then some. ISU also lost to an Oklahoma State Cowboys team that they should have beaten by now. Oklahoma teams own their shit. Oh hey I almost forgot that embarrassing early season loss to Louisiana that I’m sure everyone blamed on covid somehow. It’s probably for the best they didn’t play Iowa last season.
This season they almost lost to the University of Northern Iowa Panthers and as I write this they are going to lose to Iowa. The only thing ISU has going for it is the rest of the Big 12 save for the Oklahoma schools and maybe Texas (hah, maybe not) is pretty beatable this season. So 6-7 wins tops, and a pathetic pre-New Year’s Eve bowl game? Sounds about right. I can thank my dad who graduated from there and my little sister who went there for brainwashing me into becoming a fan all these years. Thanks a lot!
I didn’t even touch on the fact that the whole Ames area is Trump country (yeech) or that they named the stadium after a poor guy who literally died on the field (fuck you Minnesota, never forget). This season will be spent watching Brock Purdy’s draft stock continue to swing downwards as each week progresses. At least Breece Hall is pretty cool-I look forward to him getting drafted by an NFL team that I don’t like, which is what happened to the previous other ISU running backs.
What isn’t overrated: Charlie Kolar is a legit beast and Xavier Hutchinson is fun to watch. Mike Rose is a monster.
Enjoy it while it lasts: Matt Campbell will absolutely go to OSU, Notre Dame or *insert coveted job here* the first chance he gets. Or at least that’s the consensus here anyways. Unless of course the Cyclones manage to taint any possibility of that happening. Go Clones! I’m just a sucker…