Why Your Team Is Overrated: Phoenix Suns


Full disclosure: I’ve been a Phoenix Suns fan since 1992, age 6. In my lifetime they’ve gone to two NBA Finals and lost them both in heart breaking fashion to stacked Midwest teams lead by a dominating main player. The other sickening irony is that both those teams are rivals in the same division. I expect the Suns to lose their next title game appearance to another Midwest team from the Eastern Central division. Or blow it against the same team again. I donno nor do I really care. I should be dead inside to these jokers screwing up but I’m not. It still hurts a lot.

My great grandparents who passed away years ago used to live in Phoenix and so I visited there as a kid and got hooked on the Suns. I thought Charles Barkley was so cool and I still do. Little did I know their sad history of being one of the most winning NBA franchises to never win a title. They are literally the Minnesota Vikings of the NBA, West Coast version, only the Vikings actually managed to make the Super Bowl more times than the Suns have sniffed the NBA Finals. Being a fan of either team is an exercise in misery on a different scale. You witness success until it counts the most and watch division rivals achieve the goal you keep striving for every season.

This was fun until it ended all in tears

In fact I’m convinced this is an abusive relationship that I’m unwilling or unable to quit. Maybe this team will finally break through and achieve the dream. Maybe I’ll find a nice woman to settle down with and find a real career. I doubt any of this ever happens. Robert Sarver is a giant piece of shit who should be forced to sell the team and then shot into the sun. I live in Iowa and like the Bucks a lot actually and have much better options in different states to root for yet I continue to stick with the choke artists from a state I’ve only visited once. Why, I can’t tell you. I’ll quit drinking before I finally give up on these jokers.

What isn’t overrated: Devin Booker and the young core are fun to watch. This team has two Cams. Cam!

Enjoy It While It Lasts: Chris Paul keeps besting Father Time although that bill will surely come due when the Suns can least afford it.

There’s still hope this team can win a title and give the long suffering fanbase some real meaningful joy. Ha ha…oh boy. Go Suns! Fuck me.

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