Look maybe I’m going overboard here. Perhaps there are far worse holidays (and X-Mas is both the best and worst holiday of the year, or it could be considered as such…) yet New Year’s Eve/Day-I’m lumping them both together-for my money is the winner. Look I’ve had great times on both days, even more so recently: last year I got drunk, woke up and watched bowl games. Still this is the most overblown time of the year solely because it means we are ringing in a new year, and so of course party time followed by suffering the next day. So let me enlighten you on why this is the worst two day period since that time I spent puking my guts out due to a stomach virus (which happened to me on Thanksgiving. Wonderful). In fact I have some pretty good reasons, although I’ll admit that people can put forth why New Year’s Eve rules.
First off, there is no more Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve because the poor guy is deceased. He had a stroke before that happened, and so that godawful Ryan Seacrest took over hosting duties. I hate that guy. Furthermore most of the musical acts they get for the show are terrible, and once you’ve seen the ball drop once or 500 times it gets old fast. What’s even more shitty is that if you don’t live on the Eastern Seaboard, the ball is dropping an hour or even a couple hours later for you and thus its not even midnight. That’s actually a sad thought, one that I realized too many years ago. I haven’t bothered to tune in the last two years, choosing instead to ignore it in favor of blowing stupid party favors and drinking beer. Only one is a decent choice, and if you’ve been reading my blog you know which one it is.
Secondly does anyone who has a serious drinking problem need a holiday excuse to get wasted? If you do, then you need to go to Ireland or Germany (scratch that: any place in Europe) where they either have a beer in the morning, or decide hell its 1 pm that’s as good a time as any to crack open a cold one. Besides most of the time New Year’s Eve fails to fall on a weekend, so you get blitzed out of your mind only to have to drag your sorry half-dead ass into work. Calling in always fails because bosses are not stupid: they know what day it is, and that’s a swift way to end up in the unemployment line. Furthermore you really should just drink all day on New Year’s Eve instead of spending only one night if you really want to get properly intoxicated. A couple hours of drinking does it for a lightweight such as myself, but the truly hardcore drunks I know go with European time and start really early.
This leads into the fact that New Year’s Day sucks. Look some of the bowls are good, that is if you are lucky enough to get the day off to be able to watch most of them, or any of them. Since I work a night time shift (from 3 pm to whenever we’re done) this sorry excuse for a holiday means nothing to me now. Plus the parade sucks-you want a good holiday parade, tune in for the Thanksgiving and X-Mas ones instead. Since I’m not big on tradition, I don’t care about the Rose Bowl, choosing only to tune in if I’m able to when its a good matchup. I will give fans of that particular bowl that the last couple of seasons have seen entertaining games, but it depends too heavily on the Big Ten not sucking hard, which it did this season. Honestly though if bosses just admitted that New Year’s Day should entail people getting the day off due to lost productivity and hungover people coming into work, they’d be better off. Maybe then it would be upgraded to a merely decent holiday that doesn’t suck.
Overall though New Year’s Eve/Day does inspire some good parties. Yet if you have to work the next day, you won’t be able to have the proper fun one could have, which makes said party a drag. Let’s face it: drunk people are more fun to hang with and talk to than most sober people. Although I guess if you are stuck being the designated driver witnessing formally sane people making fools of themselves is worth it, I suppose. A last word: if you want a truly great drinking holiday, embrace St. Patrick’s Day. Even if you are not Irish, that is a rather fun and crazy holiday stepped in actual tradition and containing plenty of insanity. And it only takes up one entire day, too.